ANCHORS and BUOYS
The anchors are those who try to bring others down, while the buoys are those that lift others.
Which one are you?
I always enjoyed Jon Gordon's books, they are positive and reader friendly.
One of my favorites is "The No complaining rule". Check this excerpt: Turn Complaints into Solutions. The goal is not to eliminate all complaining. The intent is to eliminate the kind of mindless complaining that doesn’t serve a greater purpose.. The opposite of mindless complaining is justified complaining. The former is negative and the latter is positive. The difference is intent.
With mindless complaining, you are mindlessly focusing on problems; however, with justified complaining you identify a problem, and the complaint moves you toward a solution. Every complaint represents an opportunity to turn a negative into a positive.
I have been coaching for many years, and I'd say I (roughly) interacted with over five thousand players and their parents. Maybe more. I love people (specially kids), that has always been stronger than my love for the sport.
That is why I coach, to have a window into people's souls, learn, and hopefully have a positive impact on those I interact with. To make a difference. As crazy as it might sound to some, in my latter years of coaching I have learned to enjoy the interaction with the parents. Both the negatives and positives.
The main reason I decided to write this post though is because someone told me recently that their child's soccer season has been "very stressful". Oh yea, this conversation happened next to the kids practicing, laughing, having such a fun time. But for the adult it was "stressful"
Don't get me wrong, I am a dad too, so I get the idea of "wanting the best for your kid". But....
Stressful? Really? in October 2020? in the middle of a world wide pandemic that is killing many? a few months after those same kids weren't even able to go out the door to play?
I left the conversation thinking of a few things, and how I need to make sure I implement them to be a better version of myself. Hope others will find these suggestions useful as well, and feel free to share yours!
"Be present", in the moment. Don't stay stuck in the past.
Don't just name the problem, that is very easy to do and gets nothing fixed. If you have a complain, bring an idea, a possible solution.
Avoid triangulation, bring your issue up with the person in charge so it can be resolved. Talking to others will exacerbate the issue more and get nothing done.
How does the ideal scenario look like to you? When requesting that something changes, have a clear picture of what you want.
Don't approach people only when something goes wrong, be thankful and appreciative when things go well.
Have empathy towards others, because everyone has a story, and everyone makes mistakes.
Put things in perspective, don't sweat the small stuff. "No dejes que el arbol tape el bosque" (don't let the tree cover the forest)
Let's enjoy the moment! life goes by fast!